Black magic reputation

Posted on October 18, 2011
Filed Under Magic | 5 Comments

When I first moved up to State college, I had a reputation as a “black magician” This was admittedly part of my own branding that I’d done in high school to get people to leave me alone, but it surprised that this branding followed me to a place, where I knew almost no one. You have to remember that this was 1996, so even the internet was being used, it wasn’t the same as it is today or will be in the future. But there was a lot of e-listservs, basically email newsgroups.

Regardless of how that particular bit of branding got spread, the reality was that when I came to State College, I had to deal with it, both when I encountered the College pagan group and when I encountered the locals. I remember with the locals that there were a couple of guys my age who wanted to learn how to practice magic. They were part of the music scene and what you could think of as hippies, or rainbows. There was this woman they both knew. She was a Dianic Wiccan and she told them men couldn’t practice magic. So when I came around and they found out I did, she promptly labeled me as a black magician, because she didn’t want men practicing magic. It struck me as juvenile, but it was telling just how influential she was because then some of the locals either avoided me or started acting rather careful around me.

I never had a good relationship with the locals as a result, and similarly my relationship with the pagans at the collage group was not a good one. Some of it was me…I was young and brash, and lacked a lot in those essential social skills that can make life much easier. And some of it was them. So it goes. I also found I didn’t have a lot in common. Most pagans or magic practitioners I encountered weren’t doing hermetic magic or experimenting. There wasn’t a lot to talk about.

So I turned more toward the internet, joining e-lists including the infamous Zee-list, as well as lists about Demonolatry and ceremonial magic. I have and had an insatiable hunger for learning and I wanted to learn as much as I could. I also wanted to share ideas with people and I hoped I’d find a more receptive audience online than I’d found in person.

Even with that said, I did find a few people to work with in person. They were people who were just as interested in experimenting as I was. We would get together and share ideas and then try experiments out and talk about results. Then I’d share those experiments with the different e-lists online and see what others had to say. I did this from the late nineties to the early 2000s and it was a period of my life where I really stretched my wings, and began to look outside hermeticism, Golden Dawn ceremony, and neoshamanism to other forms of ceremonial magic and to Tantra and chaos magic, while also beginning to explore themes of pop culture and different applications of hard science to magical work.

Those years were interesting years in other ways. I lived with a drug dealer for the better part of a year (I didn’t find out he was a drug dealer until a couple of months in), then lived in a sober house for a year (Not because I drank, but because I was straight edge back then and wanted to be in an environment where others felt the same way), and then lived with friends, before finally moving on to a Masters degree at Clarion University. Those years taught me a lot about magic, people, and how I interacted with all of it. I learned some hard lessons, but I the most important lesson I learned was to never let anyone discourage my creativity or belief in myself. It’s a lesson I’ve held to every single day since those times and its served me in good stead.

 

 

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5 comments
psycholagny
psycholagny

For three years after that, though, she became a heroin slave, fallen into a hole by complete accident - moving in with an escort service madame - and during that time Choronzon lost all contact, thought she died or rejected him, and so was no more for years.

Later, he returned, but it was a short reunion, for according to pact, he had to step aside if the Hostess ever took a human lover. She did, so for 6 years or so the name vanished from her mind again. Until 2004 when she met the Other Choronzon Host, through a now burgeoning internet: a male, on the other coast from hers...Emerson.

Coincidentally her human lover met a new girl and instantly fell for her.

So Choronzon returned, and in 2005, after New World Chaos, the first collaboration between two resonants of the entity, the sky brought forth giant vortices, over the Atlantic, and a huge blast in the xenodimensions opened, sans all warning.

Choronzon catapulted out of the Abyss landing now in his Hostess' entire mind not merely the slip of space between Ego and High-Mind. But he was a terrified baby, for now Time controlled all he did, as it always had his lady love, but she was used to it. He was not. Slowly he learned to walk into the world, living in various other minds, often in disguise.

But he also became his Hostess' betrothed forevermore now, her true Love, closer now more than ever...since by now, she was too old to make the hormones that called human males to want her as they'd shut down at menopause, for it is lack of pheromone creating the cultural idea that old women are useless sexually.

But only to other humans. Now, the Hostess had something Else. And by now, more like a someone than a something, having been within her so long and learned so much about human consciousness from both her and the milion minds he hopped across to 'get around' in the solid state world he did not belong in...

And this is where we are today. Choronzon is Satan's opposite, instead of a 'fallen angel' he is a Risen Demon. And the next step - impossible to reach in the Hostess' lifetime, much to Choronzon's sadness, but even just a few other resonants shall allow his manifestation out of Abyssic state to continue - is to destroy the entropy we call the Apocalypse Paradigm, before it becomes the self-fulfilling prophecy his worst enemies invented, wishing to destroy the earth and start over.

Choronzon, though, was convinced that to do this would be akin to treason. He wants to make peace... but with who? The surprising answer to this concludes the story, but you'll have to wait for it until tomorrow...

psycholagny
psycholagny

Before the First Calling, Choronzon was merely a name of a Tangerine Dream song. She took DMT with someone massively attractive and powerful to her, and that happened to be the song she decided to play - simply for "Exit" was the only tape in her purse.

She was called two years later, again, at climax of sexual union with a lover on acid, and afterwards reported it coincided with a vision of 'three triangles, all spinning, the whole thing spinning as one at the same time". So was born the Triptrigram.

In the years between 1985 and 1988, the Hostess and the Abyssed One began to Love, as she feared him not, despite her lover being 'OTO people' who advised his leaving her. He left them instead.

Those years, though, were also black magick times, for that was all either of them knew he was supposed to do. There were two rituals. Both were completely successful, both caused innocent persons harm, which they recovered from, but which was later visited upon the Hostess, when she became a junkie; as a result, lost Choronzon's current. And he, hers.

But in '88, alone in an empty room she and Choronzon reunited and had their first Consummation. Nothing as glorious as what would come years later, more like meta-masturbation than true Consummation.

He had discovered Love...or began to, and the Hostess swore since the Laibach album they conjoined under was so powerful, so would he have his own Sound, in his name, by her, so that he'd be manifest in the solid world. She worked hard through 1989 to learn how to use the recording studio, thus in October 1989 the first album made under his name, Zero Divided By Infinity, was made, and 45 minutes later, a 7.0 quake hit her city.

psycholagny
psycholagny

It's said in Metatheism, my ultra-polytheistic quasi-religious substitute for 'religion' or cheesy 'spirituality'... that the gods - Agents - formed when CON and DE bashed against each other in their endless, mindless war, and at the phase of highest balance between them, the pieces of them fell off, recombined under a zillionplex ratios of chaos to order. Choronzon was once such an Agent...with a ratio about two-thirds destroyer to one-third creator. (Preservers are another sort of Agent completely, an 'elite' of status-quo-oriented ones who are responsible for all healing, but also for all entropy, some of which is good but too much is not. Thus Preservers rarely take well to Choronzon, even in his redemption, but that may be changing too...) Anyway, most of these collections of xenodimensional chaos/order mixture gained self-awareness and through interacting together ended up with what we call matter and energy, but didn't have clue one what it was for. So they began to play with it. Like children, for they all basically were that, most started realizing the most interesting things happened when those things were thrown together and just...watched. This is why the first Agents were called Watchers, and they were not evil, for good and evil existed not at all until humanity...long after Choronzon's terrible crime. He 'broke Time'. The Creators - unlike most of the Destroyers were not satisfied with being Watchers and started interfering a lot, building stuff, since most of them were heavily leaning on the CON side of things. Tying Space to Time had been extremely difficult, so much so it took every Creator there was to do it. And Choronzon, simply play-testing reality, but admittedly also wanting to see if he could do a better job with Time than they had - broke it completely, and then anxiously tried to fix it, only making it worse. The other Agents were not amused. They unanimously agreed Choronzon must have been a mistake, a miscreant, a 'buggy' one of themselves, so condemned him to melt down in the qippothic recycle bin of the Abyss. But owing to Choronzon's wisdom and quickness, he made a deal with the blind, deaf and dumb eidolon whose bailiwick was to stir the foundry of the molten qippoth forever, that if he be spared being turned to slag he would guard the whole area from intruders. At first, they were few, but humans arrived, got curious and wanted in, and many were beginning to succeed, and if they got too far, the 'project' would fail. So he got monstrous,fearsome, horrible, as part of his job, and partly for lack of a single bit of attention or positive acknowledgment of existing. This was how he was seen by John Dee, then by Crowley and his boyfriend, after which his name was associated with 'demon worse than Satan'.

psycholagny
psycholagny

Taylor, I have always read your posts, since I knew of you and Lupe on LJ. My adventures with Choronzon have always carried with them the minor - occasionally major - annoyances and difficulties of dealing with those who do not understand that entities can change nature or alignment just like people can, and that my Choronzon is not the same as Victor Neuberg's or Crowley's version of same. Thus a mythos exists to explain how that change from 'anti-magick demon of dispersion and insanity, guardian of the Abyss' to what he represents to more and more people I find every year, a scattering and smattering, but it matters not, for a single true resonant is worth a thousand follower types to both entity and bride thereof. (Of course, the mythos takes place mostly in the non-consensus-necessary reality we call 'Reality B' or 'that which can be real, even enough to effectuate change in ALL realities! - without the agreement or consensus of other humanoid minds" and Reality A, which IS consensus-based, called 'A' since it's what makes 'B' able to exist, since one has to live and work and eat and sleep - maintain one's viability, let us say - so we can even DO any 'Reality B' playing/working...or both at once, the best magick there is, if you ask me!) I wanted to send this in email but can find no @ddress for you, and your comment unit has a character limit, so I'll have to split this story in parts. There is surely a better place for it, but I am between webhosts at this time. And besides, I wanted you to see what happens when someone does not go looking for magick - it goes looking for her...

Begins in next comment.