When everything falls apart, pick yourself back up and start again

Posted on August 8, 2013
Filed Under identity, meditation | 4 Comments


falling apart

There are moments in your life where some part of your life, or perhaps all of your life seems to fall apart. Sometimes it may even seem to occur over a prolonged period of your life. Right now, I’m in the midst of a dark night of the soul, according to my astrological chart, and I’ve certainly experienced some of that feeling over the last few months. I’ve felt helpless, frustrated, and like parts of my life have fallen apart. I’m even feeling it right now, where I’m suddenly facing in my coaching business, a lack of clients, as all of them finished up all at once. It’s a little terrifying when you feel like the bottom of your life or profession has dropped out from underneath you. And you can feel tempted to just give up when you experience those moments where everything seems to fall apart.

I’ll admit that sometimes I’ve given up. I gave up when I left the Ph.D program at Kent State. There are times when giving up IS the best course of action you can take. When I left the Ph.d program I left it because I wasn’t happy with what I was doing, and the future academic career looked like it would be even less fun and more oppressive than what I was already doing. It simply wasn’t for me. So I gave up and walked away.

Other times you have to keep picking yourself up and pursuing what you know is right for you to be doing. My choices to be self-published and self-employed are examples of those particular decisions. Neither choice has always been easy to follow through on. It’s tempting to just give up and find a job, or to stop writing because you wonder if it’ll really find that audience that responds to your writing. Yet if you really want it, you have to keep going for it.

For me, magic and everything else I want is as much about persistence as anything else. Do you have the persistence to continue following through on what you want? Are you willing to pick yourself back up and keep trying because what you want is worth the effort. Magic, despite, how it’s sometimes talked up is not really about cutting corners or getting to the fast track of what you want. Magic can help you get what you want, but there is a persistence and effort factor tat needs to be accounted for. Nothing ever just comes to you. You’ve got to be willing to give in order to get. And what you give is your effort, your sweat, your blood, but also what you give is your willingness to learn, to get smarter and wiser, and do whatever you are doing better than how you did it before.

I’ve had so much fall apart at different times in my life and yet in those down moments, what’s kept me going has been this realization that at the end of the day the only thing that will pick me up is myself. Not the magic, not some deity, and not even some other person. What keeps me going is my choice to move forward, learn from my mistakes, and get better at what I’m doing. What helps me are the people who believe in me, the resources I can employ to help me resolve a given situation, and of course my own determination to not give up, unless its actually smarter to do so. Everything falls apart…pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep striving toward what you want. You’ll get it right eventually or die trying.


Levelu6 like.author.displayName 1 Like

Keep on truckin man. Everyone fears Mars and Saturn, but there actually a Magus's best friend, obliterating the unnecessary and constantly push us past our boundaries. Wish you the best of luck.

Magicexperiment moderator

@Levelu6 I appreciate the support. Pluto is also an interesting influence to work with for similar reasons.

BhimaBeausoleil like.author.displayName 1 Like

Hey there!

I know how that feels, as I've been through (and only just recovering) a similar period in my life. I think magic has a part to play, in the sense that it can get you closer to that state of mind you need to be in order to pick up the pieces and go through. Other than that, it's mainly staying true to ourselves, take a deep breath and objectively look back to the previous moments. Analyze what went right and what went wrong. And find out how can you change the latter, so you can go on with your life. It might take some time. It might not.

In my case, it took almost 2 years. And while it might seem a lot, I don't think I feel like that. Sure, 2 years have passed, and with it, some nice opportunities. But looking back, there's this sense of accomplishment. Of personal growth, through pain and hurt and just plain old depression. There's this feeling of lightness, because, as everything went down, it paved the way for new paths. New roads. New perspectives. And at the end of the day, just like you say, it's that feeling that carry us through. As a recently "out-of-the-closet" magician, I found that the most important thing. We're supposed to be good at creating new roads where there isn't any. To force results. To put ourselves in a state of mind that actually makes us do things and make them happen. As you said, we rely on our determination, our skills, our social network and everything that keeps all this alive. And it's still out there. It's always out there. Just waiting for you to reach it.

Magicexperiment moderator

@BhimaBeausoleil In my experience these kinds of experiences occur in cycles. It's important, as you say, to keep at it and keep going. There is always a sense of accomplishment when you get through the rough times and find your way...and those rough times make you appreciate what you've got even more.


Hey Taylor,

Hope things are looking up for you. You're a smart guy and a good guy as well, thats a pretty good combo for success. Feel free to reach out to me. There is still an opportunity with HipChime for someone with your talents. I'm getting ready to outsource a number of things that you are probably perfectly capable of. 

Best regards

Gary McClure  gary@hipchimemobile.com