Releasing Old Identities: How changes in appearance inform reality

picture copyright Taylor Ellwood 2023

For the first time in over 30 years, I cut my hair short. I've had long hair since I was a pre-teen but I recently decided that I wanted to make a change. I felt like it was time to cut my hair and in the process shed old identities in favor of new ones. For me, getting a hair was a magical act of identity transformation. I had long hair for so long and in a very real sense it was an established part of my identity as a person and even as a magician.

Yet identity is fluid and malleable. What seems fixed can be changed. A lot of times what makes your identity seem fixed has more to do with your perspective and attachment to that identity than to the actual physical reality of it. I kept my hair long because I was attached to how I looked, and how I felt about having long hair.

The act of getting my hair cut may not seem overly magical, but for me it was the choice to let of attachment to appearance, to looking a specific way. It was the choice to let go of not just the physical appearance of long hair, but also all the attachments I had to that appearance and just as importantly it was an act of letting go of the weight of that hair, physically, but also metaphysically.

Rediscovering my Identity part 1

When your identity has been constructed around a relationship, a job, or other structures in your life and something changes, you have the opportunity to rediscover your identity and find out who you are. You also get the opportunity to discover the evolution of your identity. I share my own experiences around identity work and how it’s been transformative for me.

Just being and problem solving

Sometimes the path for solving a problem is to not do anything to solve it. I talk about the internal work I’m doing each day while driving my car and how having concentrated time to be with myself is helping me work through the issues and challenges that have come up, by using Dzogchen meditation. Bonus: I end up going into some personal territory and also discuss my thoughts on the occult community and why I do the work I do and share what I share.

Magical Experiments podcast: Identity Magic with Julian Crane

I interview Julian Crane about his work with identity magic. He walks us through how he's used magic to change his life and shares examples of how he changed his identity with magical work in order to effect the changes he was looking for.

Check Out Julian's books:

Interview with the Magus

Kaocentric Sorcery

A Labyrinth of Dreams

Self-Evocation 2011

Here's my latest painting. It's a self-Evocation painting. I do these occasionally and I use them to paint an internal landscape of my consciousness. This one is actually quite nice and feels much more peaceful compared to some of the other ones.

A self-evocation is really a snapshot of time, a way to connect with a particular moment of my life. I've used the paintings occasionally to interact with younger versions of myself. In a sense the paintings act as a temporal powerspot. It's not the only method I use for accessing past versions of myself, but it is a useful method to use, and one that provides something to focus on to help you reach that past point of existence.

Pop culture magic working with Stingray Sam

My dear friend Bill recently introduced me to a movie called Stingray Sam, which is the story of a space cowboy who has to fulfill a mission in order to finish paying off his debt to society. The theme song of the movie is: "Stingray Sam is not a hero, but he does do the things that folks don't do that need to be done. He's got a bravery inside, that won't let him run away, will not let him run!"

I found this song to be very evocative and also found that I really liked the character of Stingray Sam. There was a strong resonance with this character, who isn't necessarily a hero, but is someone who will do the things that other folks won't do. I recognized that he could be a really useful influence for me to draw on, when it came to doing things in my business that I didn't want to do, but knew needed to be done.

Not only would Stingray Sam motivate me to do those things that need to be done, but he would also insist I do them when I didn't want to. At the same time, Stingray Sam has a natural charisma and friendliness that I could draw on with my interactions with people, a kind of integrity that would make those people feel comfortable, without feeling like I was imposing on them.

Recently, I got flyers for my business and have been hitting the streets with them. In my mind, I played the Stingray Sam as I walked around handing out flyers, drawing on his influence to help me be comfortable with something I normally wouldn't do, but also so I could draw on his personality traits, in my interactions with other people. I even adapted my accent to his accent, so that I sounded like him. I noticed that throughout the time I did this, I felt very happy and comfortable. It was rather interesting, and quite useful as well.

I would note that Stingray Sam is most effective when you are doing activities you normally would not do that need to be done, or doing activities that other people don't do that need to be done. I definitely felt an instant connection to this pop culture entity, and would highly recommend to others that you watch the movie, if you want to work with the entity.