There are moments in our lives where it seems like the world is ending and everything is going wrong. I call these moments Tower Times and they can be moments that happen in a flash or they can be moments that last years. I have experienced a fair amount of what I would consider to be Tower Time in the last 6 or so years and with each of those experiences what I have discovered is how much they help me transform my life, especially when I took on a perspective where I welcomed the tower time as an opportunity for growth.
In the face of events where everything seems to come crashing down on you, it can be hard to cultivate a perspective where you welcome the experience. There is suffering that occurs during tower time and this is normal to feel. Life as you know it is changing and usually its changing in a way where you are losing something important to you. What are you losing though? Often what is being lost, as painful as it may be, is ultimately something that could be holding you back from something greater.
What is that something greater? The only way to discover this is to embrace the tower time as a time of growth. For example, I used a breakup to motivate me to explore my relationship with myself and my masculinity. I recognized I needed to change something about myself and that the tower was signaling the need for a significant change in my life. I also realized that my old patterns were simply not working and that I needed to break those patterns by choosing to do something, which in my case meant doing some deep work around my identity as a man.
Tower times challenge us and in the moment the challenge is happening it can feel like the situation is hopeless but by cultivating a spirit of curiosity, you can discover the opportunities that lie in wait and open yourself to new perspectives. It won’t necessarily make the experience easier, but it also reminds you that these times will pass and that if you do the work, you will gain clarity and focus around what really matters to you and make that the focus of your life.
With that in mind, I want to share some processes you can apply during a tower time event to help you navigate that event. These processes won’t make the tower time go away, but they will help you get through them to the other side.
The first process is to breathe and be present with yourself. That seems simple enough but it can be hard sometimes. What I also do in this situation is tell myself that I love myself. I remind myself that the situation will pass and that life will continue on. It may take a while before the overall situation gets better, but I find each moment and treasure it.
The second process is to do some activities each day that help you with your process. For instance, I meditate each day and I also go walking and do somatic exercises. These different processes help me work through whatever comes up and allow me to stay present with the feelings and thoughts.
The third process is to do activities which are enriching and nourishing for you, activities that you like to do which feed your soul. For me, that’s going to Kungfu, my men’s group, and also attending cultural events. For you it might be something else, but making time for nourishing activities and making the effort to connect with other people can make a significant difference in your life and how you handle tower time events.
The fourth process is to take a break from magical workings. You might be tempted to do magical workings to get you through a tower time more quickly, but I recommend slowing down and not trying to magic yourself through the tower time. Treat this tower time as a sacred experience that will enable you to grow and make space for it. You’ll know when to do magic and what to do as well.
If you need help with some of these activities sign up for my free class Inner Alchemy of Wintering. Joanna Brook and I will share our best practices for navigating tower time in that class, as well as other practices you can do to recharge.
