Photo by Tara Winstead: https://www.pexels.com/photo/saturn-spelled-out-in-scrabble-tiles-7666410/
Saturn recently went retrograde and will be retrograde through November. When a planet goes retrograde it essentially seems to be moving backwards. From an astrological perspective, a planet going retrograde is an opportunity to work with the particular influence of that planet in a different way. For example, when Mercury goes retrograde, it provides an opportunity to work with your communication and recognize where your communication skills need work. In the case of Saturn retrograde, the opportunity is around examining what you have built in your life with your career, home, relationships and the boundaries you have around each of these areas of your life.
I’ve entered into this Saturn Retrograde with a sense of quiet awareness as I’ve turned inward to examine my current life circumstances. I am getting ready to make some major transitions in the next couple of months and I’m doing a lot of existential kink work around the patterns I’ve observed in my life. While Saturn is known for boundaries, Saturn is also about separating the chaff from the wheat and in the process culling out what isn’t working. One specific example I’ll use is around my career/work and what it means to be of service.
In the last 6 or so years I have worked at jobs I haven’t found to be very fulfilling. They have allowed me to pay the bills, but what they have also emphasized is how much I settle for doing work I don’t like doing because it feels like that’s the work I can find. As a magician, this doesn’t strike me as a very magical attitude…instead it is egoic, wrapped up in a sense of fatalism around the work I am doing. I have been doing a lot of work in the last couple of years to challenge this perspective, and most recently the EK work has helped me see how an unconscious part of myself has continually gotten off on being unhappy because of how it has validated deeper wounds. As I’ve examined those wounds and done the healing work on them, I’m finding that the power of this pattern is falling away.
Saturn retrograde, as a period of reflection is allowing me to continue this process of transformation. I am embracing an opportunity to let go of the fears and insecurities which have acted as boundaries and limitations that have held me back from stepping into my truest self. I am recognizing that these fears and insecurities have held me back because I’ve clung to them as a form of justification for my circumstances. I no longer can hold onto them because they don’t serve me in any way that is useful.
I am using Saturn retrograde to help me dismantle the boundaries and limits I have raised in my life from a place of fear and a drive for safety. I am realizing that clinging to illusory safety hurts me and the people in my life because it keeps me small and holds me back from living and speaking my truth. I have done it in certain areas of my life and the cost is significant. It also hasn’t kept me safe. Saturn retrograde, as an astrological current gives me a chance to take a specific momentum to this work and use it to propel me toward the deeper changes that need to happen if I’m going to live my authentic life.
How is Saturn retrograde showing up in your life?
