Metatron copyright Taylor Ellwood 2020
6-23-2020 Yesterday I switched over to the supernal of Hod, Netzach, and Yesod. Appropriately enough as well I began learning more qi gong in relationship to the placement of the feet and how to move from the hell to the ball of the foot and back again and how that movement directs the chi. I think this is appropriate because this supernal is very much about the movement going back and forth.
When I did my qi gong exercises I felt the subtle movement of the qi moving up and down my body as I shifted my feet. It was fascinating to feel and it made me appreciate again how important it is to be in the body and be present with what you are experiencing in the body.
6-25-2020 I had a pivotal realization today around Gods Playing in the Clouds, and qi gong movements in general. I’ve been practicing moving my heel to the foot to the ball of my foot and back again, in order to move qi up and down my body. I added opening the spine today and as I was doing the movements, I could feel more qi flowing. For just a couple movements I decided to reverse my breathing and when I did I felt the qi expand like a sphere through my body. Certain things clicked into place and I realized that all that put together is crucial to the movement, but I also felt a connection to the SOA, because by doing the movement I became the sphere.
For now I’m just going to continue focusing on integrating the heel and neck movements into the work, because that in and of itself is a significant step and one I need to more fully step into, but I see the potential of where things could go, and I felt the archangels respond and send a vibration through my being that meshed with the qi.
6-28-2020 Today I decided to integrate standing Energy Gates meditation into the SOA ritual. I stood and allowed myself to rock back and forth gently moving qi up and down my body as I did the chants. I noticed that energies I was calling into the SOA merged with the qi being circulated and I felt a great warmth through my body. I’m going to continue this line of work and see where it takes me.
7-3-2020 I had a dream last night where I felt like my butt was being touched without my consent and it made me feel frantic. I wanted to escape. It must have been because I wrote a bit about being molested and raped and so there it was in the background waiting to come out. You think you have something sorted, but no matter how sorted it is, you still have the triggers that sometimes get sprung.
7-6-2020 I struggle with envy and a desire to be recognized. Some days it’s really easy and other days its harder. Most days its easier now, and something I’m finding easier is making the choice to let go of connections that bring up these feelings, because it doesn’t serve me or my community in any way, shape, or form to let such feelings get the better of me and it keeps me from focusing on what’s important which is the work, and the people who need that work.
Decided I need to reread the Courage to be Disliked. Randomly flipping to a page took me to the sentence., “You complicate your life.” Yep, that’s exactly what I’m doing and when I meditated on that sentence and applied that awareness to myself I let it all go. I don’t need to complicate my life.
7-8-2020 Today I learned how to open up spine and as I did I felt the pieces come together and I had a better feel not only for how cloud hands works, but also how Gods Playing in the Clouds works and how the body should overall respond. At the same time I felt a connection to the bottom supernal and a sense of how these practices, in grounding the body, cause greater access to spiritual forces. I felt the archangels in the background, not doing anything, beyond just witnessing, but still present and I felt the cord in my body, in the twisting and spiraling movements I was making. Interestingly enough RJ did tell me that there can be a connection between qi gong and the sphere, which I didn’t expect, but just reaffirms I’m on the right path of this work.
7-9-2020 When I am meditating, I am now feeling with legs and feet, a sensation of qi rising up and going through me. I’ve felt it the last few days and integrating the practices with the spine seems to enhance that feeling further.
7-15-2020 Further work with qi gong has been helpful in terms of feeling more connected to my body. Standing for twenty or thirty minutes inevitably yields subtle sensations of movement and release. I’ve also been feeling certain realizations click into place in terms of moving my kwa and how that movement can drive the movement of of my legs and arms. Additionally I’ve been working with the sensations of twisting the legs and arms and feeling the spiraling qi go through my body. In meditation I have felt a continued transmission which has merged with the transmission from the archangels. All of this is rippling through me, transforming my connection with the planetary and elemental energies further. I feel like everything is getting setting up for the switchover from the element of creativity to the element of transformation.
7-19-2020 Spent the weekend learning about energy gates and the spine. I feel like what I learned complements what I’m doing and ties into the cord work as well, because the spine is the cord for people. It’s the main route of the central nervous system. Beyond that I’ve just felt everything else syncing up to the Sphere of Art and to the archangels.
7-21-2020 I did cloud hands today and I could feel how the changes from the weekend had already integrated into the movement. My back felt warmer and the energy moving up and down the body in a spiral was much stronger.
On a different note, I’m at the end of this supernal and I find it appropriate that I’m beginning back at Malkuth just as I start the next chapter of my life as an indie author. And my work with creativity as an element is beginning to wind down because I’ve found what I need to work on. Soon it’ll be tiem for transformation.