supernal

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Elemental Balancing Ritual Creativity Month 21

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6-23-2020 Yesterday I switched over to the supernal of Hod, Netzach, and Yesod. Appropriately enough as well I began learning more qi gong in relationship to the placement of the feet and how to move from the hell to the ball of the foot and back again and how that movement directs the chi. I think this is appropriate because this supernal is very much about the movement going back and forth.

When I did my qi gong exercises I felt the subtle movement of the qi moving up and down my body as I shifted my feet. It was fascinating to feel and it made me appreciate again how important it is to be in the body and be present with what you are experiencing in the body.

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Elemental Balancing Ritual Creativity Month 20

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5-22-2020 I had some vivid dreams last night around some actions and behaviors that I feel a deep sense of shame about. And in the meditation today, the focus was around not just moving to the supernal of Chesed, Geburah and Tiphareth but also around working with that feeling of shame and coming to a place of forgiveness for myself…coming to a place where I wasn’t beating myself for past actions and choices but instead simply acknowledging my responsibility while forgiving myself as well. And to be clear...It’s not that I want forgiveness from anyone else, but rather that I choose to forgive myself as a deliberate action to find healing around things that I did.

5-23-2020 I decided to sign up for the cloud hands qi gong class coming up in the early part of June. I feel like it will contribute to that deeper exploration of the internal work I’m currently undergoing. This deeper internal work is allowing me to encounter some deeper blockages around shame, rejection, and other issues that I haven’t fully dealt with. This morning I had a realization about my former relationships and how rejected I felt in most of them, which contributed to my reactionary behavior around them. If I was feeling rejected in the main relationship, I’d try and go elsewhere. That in turn would reinforce the behaviors on the part of the other person, creating a vicious loop that really hurt all involved.

Fortunately I’ve managed to change that with a lot of internal work on my part and lately because I’m going deeper its giving me to chance to work on these blockages around shame and rejection that are deeply embedded and begin undoing them and forgiving myself in the process. It’s not easy work, because it really does bring me face to face with judgement, but also with compassion, which makes the supernal work around all of this perfect. I need to find the right balance of accountability and responsibility with self-forgiveness. I think I can do that with this work.

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Elemental Balancing Ritual Creativity Month 19

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4-24-2020 This month I switched over to working with Kether, Chockmah and Binah, with the associated archangels, planetary energies etc. The focus of the meditation has involved being present with all three sephiroth and the paths that connect them, while opening myself to the experience of all that being mediated through me. It builds off what I’ve previously done with an aim toward encompassing the entire experience.

Along with that, I’ve been continuing to do Gods play in the clouds Qi gong and the basic Bua Gua walk I’ve learned. What I’m noticing is a distinct change in my chi and ho the energy feels. It’s meshing with the sphere of art work as well. I feel like this is an integral part of the path forward with this work.

4-26-2020 Working with the supernals is different from working individually with the Sephiroth. You’re dealing with the interplay of energies, which can be its own thing, it can be tempting to sort it out, when in fact, it just needs to be experienced as its ow thing. It’s a good reminder to not control the experience, but instead simply be open to it.