1-23-2018 In the power of TED The author shares that how you approach life creates the experience you have and that makes sense. I can recognize when I'm approaching my life as a victim or as a creator and how I feel in both situations. I think the real takeaway, emphasized as much by other things I've been reading, is pick the problems that best serve your outcome. And that only happens when you define your outcome. I've been redefining my outcomes in a couple areas of life and I already see some key differences that are helping me be much more productive and happy.
1-24-2018 I had a 2 hour conversation with another of Gray's students. It was fascinating to hear more stories about Gray, but also to discuss my ongoing magical work as well as learning about that student's working. I felt another connection click into place through that discussion and I'm very excited to continue the relationship and perhaps collaboration as well. Finding like minded magicians who get my work on a deep level and have a shared spiritual foundation is truly exciting.
1-27-2018 One of the primary lessons from God Emperor of Dune is this: A seamless life without conflict is a passive life of mediocrity. I've been thinking about that message a lot in relationship to my work with Stability. I'm not seeking a seamless life without conflict, but rather a stable foundation from which any conflict can be met and resolved without much in the way of drama. I also don't think of conflict as being inherently negative or violent. It can be those things of course, but conflict can also be positive and non-violent.
A life without any conflict is a life without challenges, without something to strive for. Conflict presents challenge, presents something which necessitates evolution and adaptation. And if you can recognize this then conflict can be embraced as an opportunity to induce growth and change. I've experienced this quite a bit in the last few months with this work and my choice to embrace what I'm dealing with has allowed me to grow and change.
In God Emperor of Dune, Leto intentionally created a golden era of seamless living, because he wants to demonstrate the inherent risks that come in longing for an existence where nothing really changes. there's more to the book than that, but its a good lesson in itself, that no change creates stagnancy. In some ways in 2017 I experienced something of that stagnancy in my life, so I appreciate this lesson again and recognize the vague of conflict as a change agent. My work with stability simply makes it easier to engage that conflict in way that is beneficial instead of needlessly dramatic.
2-4-2018 Yesterday when I was meditating Elephant came to me. I was doing Taoist water breathing work and he showed me how to use vibration to go deeper into the dissolving work, but also to connect more closely with the body.
Speaking of the Taoist Water Breathing, in the Great Stillness, B. K. Frantzis discusses how a person can achieve a relaxed state of strength through dissolving and I feel like I understand that much better, because the dissolving work I've done over the year has helped me get rid of a lot internal tension. I'm still working on it (perhaps I always will), but the ability to achieve a relaxed state of strength in meditation and be ale to focus as a result is a lot easier.
In Welcome to your world, the author discusses the cognitive aspects of a designed environment. It makes me appreciate how much an environment can either detract or enhance a person's state of mind and being. It also helps me understand choices I make in terms of using a lamp light versus an overheard light. The lamp light actually has cognitive benefits the over head light doesn't provide.
2-6-2018 I had one other experience at the Gorge. Kat and I were visiting one of the interpretive centers and we saw this petroglyph for She who watches and it struck us both that this was the spirit we've felt when ever we visit the gorge. It was a powerful experience that's stuck with me. I think the down the line I'd like to visit the gorge further and do some work with that spirit, if she is open to it.
2-11-2018 Today I shut down Eccentric Entrepreneurs and shut down my business coaching. It was a hard decision to come to, but as I was reading Essentialism and going through the exercises, I realized that I wasn't in that business for the right reasons. So I let it go. I feel like a weight has come off my shoulders, even as I also feel sad. I put nine plus years into the business and to let it come to an end...both liberating and hard.
The realization I had though was that I started the business as a side business and then a few months in I had to make it into a full time business, because I couldn't find a job when the economy collapsed. The reason for doing the business became about survival, as opposed to doing it for the right reasons.
I don't know if I'll ever do another business again or not or if I'll ever coach again or not I'll leave myself to possibilities, while continuing to focus on the essentials I already know work for me.
2-12-2018 I'm listening to How can you mend a broken heart by Al Green. It just describes so much of the feelings I have right now. I have been stripped of so much in the last few months and I accept its a necessary part of this journey I'm on. But it is hard sometimes. And yet this is a process that has truthfully been happening for the last 14 years to one degree or another. Its a process of refinement, of pressure, of change and transformation. It isn't easy and its most certainly not for just anyone, yet I'll keep on my own version of the Golden Path because for all the hard times I've gone through, all the work I've done, I've also been greatly rewarded. I just have to trust the process and keep doing the work because it will get me where I need to be.
2-15-2018 I often find that the right message or resource comes to me when I most need it. Today I was reading Essentialism and the author talked a lot about how to say no, which was helpful for a situation where I'd put pressure on myself to say yes. But perhaps what helped the most was the author's understanding of knowing when to cut your losses. It helped me realize how right I've been to cut my losses, instead of continuing to put valuable time toward something that simply wasn't working. It helps me continue making peace with my choices and allows me to recognize that no longer trying to force a fit has actually been incredibly liberating for me. This is part of the path to stability...letting go of the things that simply don't work so I can discover the essential and make it the focus of my life.
2-17-2018 In my meditation today Elephant and I talked about stability in relationship to recent events. In one sense I was asking Elephant how all the changes in my life were really leading me to a better understanding and mediation of stability in my life. He pointed out that to achieve stability a person has to be willing to let go of what is unstable and what isn't working instead of trying to force a fit and make it work. When you try to force a fit and make it work, it actually creates instability because the tension works against stability.
In reflecting on what Elephant offered, I found myself agreeing. There have been so many times where I tried to force a fit and felt a sense of unhappiness and tension. That unhappiness and tensions certainly contributes to the amount of stability a person can have.
Elephant also pointed out how certain changes in my life have lead to more stability and noted that an aspect of change that is ignored is how change can set up conditions for improving the foundations on which one's life is built, if a person is open to allowing it.
2-18-2018 I think the hardest choice a person can make is the choice to quit something, because so often what I see in business books and in so much else is that the real virtue is persistence. But what happens when persistence isn't a virtue? I persisted in my business for 9 + years and I'm glad I gave that time, but at a certain point if all you continue to encounter is obstacles, you have to decide between persisting and choosing something else. I chose to quit. I hit a point where I just couldn't keep going, at least not with that.
Knowing when to quit and regroup, to stop and figure out your next steps can be just as important as anything else you could choose to do. But dealing with the emotions around quitting something is its own journey because you have to make peace with your choice. And that takes time.
2-21-2018 What this month has taught me is that stability isn't necessarily about keeping everything the way you think it should be. Stability can be discovered by learning to let go of what you don't need, of what is holding you back from achieving stability. I did a lot of that this month, but I've come through it feeling more stable, more secure, and more focused as a result. Was it hard? Certainly, but letting go of the identities that hold you back is hard, yet also liberating because what you're left with is the essential.
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