My relationship with the spirits I’ve worked with has changed a lot in the 2.5 decades that I’ve been practicing magic and doubtlessly it’ll continue to change as I explore and deepen the relationships I have with the spirits. When I first started practicing magic, and connecting with spirits, the focus was on establishing a relationship and figuring out what being in a relationship with a given spirit entailed.
Later, I went through a period where I questioned my relationship with the spirits and whether they were even real. I wondered if the work I was doing was all in my head or if there was any real substance. Such doubts are good to entertain because it forces you to examine your work carefully and test and verify what you are doing.
I got through that period of time and I changed my approach to working with the spirits because of it. Instead of doing the standard western occult practices I began exploring and developing alternate approaches, because I realized that one of the most significant weaknesses of standard western practices is the focus on objectifying the spirits and keeping them at a distance, only to be called on when its convenient for you. That approach doesn’t allow for a genuine relationship because its all about control of the spirit.
The most significant change I made was to switch how I connected with spirits from a vision and linguistic oriented approach to an approach that is experiential based. The problem with visualization/linguistic approaches to spiritual work is that the focus is on making the spirit communicate with the person on terms that the person is comfortable with. the spirit appears in a form the person can make sense of and communicates in the native language of the person. It’s all very convenient for the person, but what’s not considered is whether anything is lost in translation.
In contrast an experiential model is focused on experiencing the spirit and letting the experience speak to and through you. The experiential approach is a symbiotic focused with a recognition that both spirits and people benefit from interacting with each other. With this approach, I’ve found that my relationships with the spirits have become more intimate because I’m not trying to limit the communication to what’s comfortable for me, but instead am open to how the spirit would otherwise communicate through vibration, pressure or other sensations.
This doesn’t mean I automatically assume that every sensation I experience is from a spirit. For example if I start itching, it doesn’t necessarily mean a spirit is trying to contact me. Instead, to determine if a spirit connecting with me experientially, I look at the context in how its happening as well as the experience itself, because what I find is that the experience will be consistent with the spirit. So if a feeling of pressure is part of the experience I have with a spirit, I’ll use that feeling of pressure to gauge whether or not the spirit is contacting me. I’ll use the context of the situation I’m in to determine if that has bearing on the experience I’m having at the time.
The symbiotic focus of the work is also done from a different perspective than standard western practices. Instead of focusing solely on how the spirit can benefit me and get me results or focusing on a devotional approach that only caters to the needs of the spirit, the focus is on how can we create an interdependent relationship where all parties benefit. As a result the work with the spirit is oriented toward developing a communal relationship that is ongoing and omnipresent, but at the same time is voluntarily and occurs on terms that are respectful to all parties. For instance, when I do my Sphere of Art work and connect with the archangels, its done with a recognition that the connection isn’t forced and that after the work is done, the archangels can still connect with me any other point of the day or night. The same applies with other spirits I work with. The ritual context is useful for checking in, but the experience doesn’t automatically stop because the ritual has. The ritual is just one way to connect, and this where that awareness of a consistent experience with the spirit is key because you use that awareness to determine if a spirit has connected.
But the symbiosis goes beyond even that. It is an integration of the spirit and the human, a connection that is lived in the moment, instead of artificially broken off by the ending of a ritual and the banishment of the spirit. It is the mediation of the spirit and the human, connecting to each other and the world. It is the choice I made long ago when I exchanged my life essence for the essence of the elementals and gained an ongoing conversation with the elements that has transformed my life and magic. I’m doing the same now in my living space, creating an ongoing conversation with the spirits I work with that never stops by setting up a permanent space of interaction that isn’t stopped, but instead is embraced.