Recently a friend of mine has mentioned that she's been going through a period of disillusionment about magic and that everything she tries to do doesn't work. And whether she realizes it or not, she's not alone in feeling this way. I've gone through my own feelings of disillusionment about magic several times. The first time was disillusionment with the occult subculture and the second time was personal disillusionment. Undoubtedly I'll probably experience such disillusionment again. And my conclusion about this is that actually such disillusion is healthy, even if at the time it doesn't feel that way. Each time I experienced disillusionment about magic, I ended up working through some serious doubts about the magic, but importantly about myself as a person. When we feel those doubts it can be hard, because we question everything, all our decisions, and we wonder, am I really doing thing, or am I deluding myself? But asking these questions also forces us to really evaluate the choices in our lives, the value of our beliefs, and even if the people in our lives are the ones we really want in our lives.
A crisis of faith is healthy because it forces us to stop taking our beliefs for granted and really dig into the core of those beliefs. The disillusionment I've felt has made me question why I believe what I believe as well as whether or not its really good for me to have those beliefs. And when I've come through it, I've felt a stronger connection to what I believe, and a better understanding of the place of those beliefs in my life.
What about you? Have you felt disillusioned and how have you dealt with it?