picture copyright Taylor Ellwood 2023
For the first time in over 30 years, I cut my hair short. I've had long hair since I was a pre-teen but I recently decided that I wanted to make a change. I felt like it was time to cut my hair and in the process shed old identities in favor of new ones. For me, getting a hair was a magical act of identity transformation. I had long hair for so long and in a very real sense it was an established part of my identity as a person and even as a magician.
Yet identity is fluid and malleable. What seems fixed can be changed. A lot of times what makes your identity seem fixed has more to do with your perspective and attachment to that identity than to the actual physical reality of it. I kept my hair long because I was attached to how I looked, and how I felt about having long hair.
The act of getting my hair cut may not seem overly magical, but for me it was the choice to let of attachment to appearance, to looking a specific way. It was the choice to let go of not just the physical appearance of long hair, but also all the attachments I had to that appearance and just as importantly it was an act of letting go of the weight of that hair, physically, but also metaphysically.
