Recently I created a magical painting dedicated to Saturn. when I created it I worked with the wet and dry alchemical essences of lead. It was a powerful magical working, but what happened as a result of that working was even more intriguing and powerful in its own right. I was given the opportunity to take a peek behind the curtains and I got a very different perspective of the interweaving of reality and possibility.
When many people think of Saturn as a planetary energy to work with they think of it in terms of limitations and specifically how obstacles, boundaries, and limitations can get in the way of a person’s journey to achieving specific results. Or perhaps they consider the artful application of limitations and how those limitations can actually be used to create a refined and focused magical work that gets specific results. Certainly these aspects of Saturnic work are true and the planetary energy of Saturn can be worked with in that way.
But I think there’s a temporal aspect to the planetary energy of Saturn that is worth noting. Saturn isn’t just about the placement of boundaries and limitations. It also about the weaving and unweaving of possibilities. Those possibilities may occur within very specific limitations, but nonetheless what Saturn can grant us a chance to explore those possibilities. That’s what happened to me in the last week of June and first week of July in 2021.
After I created the art magic working, I had a vision where I was taken to a room with many open doors. Within each of those doors was a possibility I could explore and I was granted an understanding: I could go through anyone of those doors and weave the possibility contained within, into my reality. I could also unweave it if I chose.
I want to be clear about something: I didn’t have access to infinite possibilities. I had access to possibilities that were within the limitations and boundaries of my life. Nonetheless this was a powerful and heady experience and one that made me go a bit crazy. Be careful when you peek behind the curtain because what you see may challenge the narratives of your life.
So what happened?
In my case I saw that because of the circumstances of my life, I had a few options available to me. I didn’t have to stay in the customer support job I was working in. I didn’t even necessarily need to stay in Portland. I ended up applying to the post office, to the Amazon warehouse and even explored the possibility of moving to Astoria. It was a wild and crazy couple of weeks, because I was actively exploring the possibilities of what my life could be. I needed to do it, because it helped me realize a very important lesson.
The lesson was this: No matter what possibility I chose to manifest it wouldn’t change the reality I had to deal with in my life. I couldn’t escape the emotional and mental pain I was feeling around my divorce no matter what I did. I could go somewhere different and do something different, but I’d still have to deal with the reality I’m in now. It helped me realize that instead of trying to force myself to process my pain as quickly as possible, I simply had to accept that my recovery and healing from recent events is going to happen at its own pace. There will be days I feel sad, and other days where I feel better. It’s a process and I have to just be with it.
After this happened, I felt sane for the first time in a while. I have started feeling more grounded again. Ironically, I have ended up leaving the customer support job. I realized I don’t want to do customer support again. It just makes me miserable. I want to focus on my writing and my magic and I know I also need to bring a base amount of income (how very Saturnic), so I’m going to figure that out but I realize that whatever I do to make a living shouldn’t be something that makes miserable enough that it gets in the way of my creativity.
I wove the possibilities I explored into reality and I unwove them back into possibilities. It helped me realize that even with the limitations we might currently be dealing with there are a lot of possibilities within our lives that can be worth exploring. We just have to be open to the realization that the limitations aren’t always as set in stone as they seem to be. We also need to realize that the choice to follow through on a possibility does bring consequences with it and that acting on a possibility doesn’t necessarily change the realities we have to deal with. It might seem to offer a way out, but some realities we carry with us, no matter where we go.
