spirits, Magic
Taylor Ellwood
The relationship between sacred kingship and ...

One of the books I’m reading lately is King, Warrior, Magician, Lover by Robert Moore and Doug Gillette. It’s a fascinating book that explores the archetypes of the mature and sacred masculine. This is currently part of the spiritual work that I’m engaged in as I explore my own relationship with masculinity and heal the ancestoral and contemporary wounds that I’m becoming aware of as it relates to how masculinity is treated and perceived in modern times.

One of the aspects I’m exploring in particular is related to sacred kingship and the land. I am in the process of exploring the new city and surrounding areas that I live in. While I’ve lived here for a year, I didn’t have much opportunity until recently to really begin exploring the area and developing a relationship with the land. I find it fitting and useful that part of the process has also involved cultivating a relationship with the land, particularly on the basis of the relationship has with their home and how that relationship plays out in sacromagical work one does in connecting with the land.

elemental work

,

Walking the Land

,

One of the earliest magical practices I did and still do to this day is something I call walking the land. Walking the land is a practice where you connect with the elemental energies of the land, by walking the land and opening yourself up to the experience of the spirits speaking to you, through the journey you take. I first started doing this when I began practicing magic. I would go for long hikes, alone, and just walk and connect with the land, letting it speak to me.

Many years later, and I still do this practice. I have a small park, near where I live, and I walk it every few days, just to experience the place and the life of the trees, plants, and other beings that live in that park. I also do this whenever I go hiking in the gorge or along the coast. When I do this practice, I do it in silence, my hands outstretched, and I will just quiet my mind, and listen.

,

Elemental Balancing Ritual Creativity Month 23

,

8-22-2020 I started reading Beyond Victim Consciousness today. It had been recommended by a friend and given recent events, I felt like it would be useful to take a look and see what might be applicable to myself. My first impression is that some of the perspectives the author shares reminds me of the Adlerian psychology espoused in The Courage to be Disliked, namely that you choose the perception you have as opposed to how trauma defines. I don’t fully agree with that perspective, but I also recognize how much my own trauma can become can excuse, which really isn’t useful, if I’m going to own my choices and the consequences of them. In that sense the perspective I bring to an event defines that event subjectively. And it is all to easy to use a given perception to justify your actions, choices, blamelessness or blame, so I’m really sitting with that. I’ll be curious to see how the rest of this book can inform my journey forward, as well as what I learn from the past.

8-23-2020 I read some more of Beyond Victim Consciousness tonight. Victim consciousness wants to be right, wants to protest, wants to control, wants to make others as we are and when they refuse we become angry and punish them. An internally focused perspective wants peace and accepts the situation as it is, recognizing that the perspective you apply to the situation dictates the experience of the situation.

,

Elemental Balancing Ritual Creativity Month 21

,

6-23-2020 Yesterday I switched over to the supernal of Hod, Netzach, and Yesod. Appropriately enough as well I began learning more qi gong in relationship to the placement of the feet and how to move from the hell to the ball of the foot and back again and how that movement directs the chi. I think this is appropriate because this supernal is very much about the movement going back and forth.

When I did my qi gong exercises I felt the subtle movement of the qi moving up and down my body as I shifted my feet. It was fascinating to feel and it made me appreciate again how important it is to be in the body and be present with what you are experiencing in the body.

,

Elemental Balancing Ritual Creativity Month 20

,

5-22-2020 I had some vivid dreams last night around some actions and behaviors that I feel a deep sense of shame about. And in the meditation today, the focus was around not just moving to the supernal of Chesed, Geburah and Tiphareth but also around working with that feeling of shame and coming to a place of forgiveness for myself…coming to a place where I wasn’t beating myself for past actions and choices but instead simply acknowledging my responsibility while forgiving myself as well. And to be clear...It’s not that I want forgiveness from anyone else, but rather that I choose to forgive myself as a deliberate action to find healing around things that I did.

5-23-2020 I decided to sign up for the cloud hands qi gong class coming up in the early part of June. I feel like it will contribute to that deeper exploration of the internal work I’m currently undergoing. This deeper internal work is allowing me to encounter some deeper blockages around shame, rejection, and other issues that I haven’t fully dealt with. This morning I had a realization about my former relationships and how rejected I felt in most of them, which contributed to my reactionary behavior around them. If I was feeling rejected in the main relationship, I’d try and go elsewhere. That in turn would reinforce the behaviors on the part of the other person, creating a vicious loop that really hurt all involved.

Fortunately I’ve managed to change that with a lot of internal work on my part and lately because I’m going deeper its giving me to chance to work on these blockages around shame and rejection that are deeply embedded and begin undoing them and forgiving myself in the process. It’s not easy work, because it really does bring me face to face with judgement, but also with compassion, which makes the supernal work around all of this perfect. I need to find the right balance of accountability and responsibility with self-forgiveness. I think I can do that with this work.

,

Elemental Balancing Ritual Creativity Month 19

,

4-24-2020 This month I switched over to working with Kether, Chockmah and Binah, with the associated archangels, planetary energies etc. The focus of the meditation has involved being present with all three sephiroth and the paths that connect them, while opening myself to the experience of all that being mediated through me. It builds off what I’ve previously done with an aim toward encompassing the entire experience.

Along with that, I’ve been continuing to do Gods play in the clouds Qi gong and the basic Bua Gua walk I’ve learned. What I’m noticing is a distinct change in my chi and ho the energy feels. It’s meshing with the sphere of art work as well. I feel like this is an integral part of the path forward with this work.

4-26-2020 Working with the supernals is different from working individually with the Sephiroth. You’re dealing with the interplay of energies, which can be its own thing, it can be tempting to sort it out, when in fact, it just needs to be experienced as its ow thing. It’s a good reminder to not control the experience, but instead simply be open to it.

, , , ,

Elemental Balancing Ritual Creativity Month 18

, , , ,

3-23-2020 Last night I transitioned over to Ain Soph Aur/Pluto/Suvuviel. The three veils aren’t typically included in a Tree of Life work, but it seemed appropriate to me that I work with them. But I’ll admit I sense of morbid amusement that I would start working with Pluto on this month, of all months, when we’re dealing with the corona virus. Then again, it really is appropriate because Pluto is about death and rebirth and all of us, in one form or another, are going through exactly that.

Suvuviel is also appropriate because he’s the archangel of the present, and of the spirit cord. He ties everything together with the cord, but he can also unravel the cord. He’s present in all moments, because he is part of the present.

When I connected with Ain Soph Aur/Pluto/Suvuviel, I felt like I was at the very pinnacle of the solar system, looking back at the sun and the planets, at the earth and everything going on and I felt Suvuviel come through and explain that part of this experience is necessarily about seeing the entire picture, looking beyond the immediate circumstance to the underlying patterns. I’m not just looking at this moment in time, but all the work I’ve done the previous 17 months.

,

Elemental Balancing Ritual Creativity Month 17

,

2-23-2020 Yesterday I switched over to Kether/Uranus/Metatron. Modern quabalists associate Kether with Uranus and this makes sense to me because of the current of creativity and sacrifice that runs through Uranus. When I switched over to this month, the switch felt like a departure from the currents of Neptune to this place of being, gentler in a way, and yet also insistent on discovery the potential within the being.

In tonight’s meditation Metatron talked with me about creativity and how the sacrifices a person makes with creativity need to be chosen carefully. What are you willing to give? What are you willing to choose and what are you willing to give away? Creativity doesn’t happen in a void. Potential is boundless until a choice is made.

,

Elemental Balancing Ritual Creativity Month 16

,

1-22-2020 Tonight I connected with Ratziel/Chockmah/Neptune. I know Neptune isn’t traditionally associated with Chockmah, but I actually think it makes a lot of sense, when you consider that Chockmah is both wisdom and pressure. Chockmah fine tunes everything and when I consider that seat salt is the alchemical substance associated with Chockmah as well as my previous experiences with the planetary energy of Neptune, it seems to make a lot of sense. Ironically, William G. Gray doesn’t set a lot of store by associating Neptune with Chockmah, though he notes its done by modern day quabalists. The irony is that his own explanation of Chockmah and Ratziel completely supports the connection, but it makes me wonder if ever worked with the planetary energy of Neptune.

Ratziel also showed up and what was interesting is that she made it a point to show me how Chockmah and Binah connect and work together. I felt suspended between the saturnic energy of Binah and the Neptunic energy of Chockmah and I felt how that balance played off each other and strengthened each other. It also gave me ideas about where to take this work next. Feeling balanced between both forces made me realize how essential this work is because in finding this balance, I’m also creating opportunities to deepen my connections with the powers and work with the more holistically. There’s a lot more to share, but I’ll do it once I’ve had more time to process the experience and research I’m doing for this month.

,

Elemental Balancing Ritual Creativity Month 15

,

12-24-2019 Tonight as I mediated this energy, I was reminded how important it is to observe and be aware of my passions, without letting them take over. Saturn’s appropriate for that because of the boundaries and limitations. Here is where power is given away for form, where potential turns into reality.

12-26-2019 I’m finding myself experiencing a curious sense of stillness and quiet…a healthy sense of it and an awareness of the value of turning inward and focusing on rest and rejuvenation. At the same time I find myself focusing even further on the essential and what really matters. Sometimes we must necessarily get rid of the clamor of the world to discover what really matters.

,

Elemental Balancing Ritual Creativity Month 14

,

11-23-2019 I started working with Tzadkiel/Jupiter/Chesed this month. It seems particularly appropriate that I work with them this month as I’m preparing to leave my job and go into full-time indiepreneurship. I was looking up information about Tzadkiel and I came across this passage in William G. Gray’s Ladder of Lights (Affiliate link)": “The greatest and most genuine benefit Jupiter can possibly give us on this Earth, is to fulfil our material necessities so that our minds and souls will be set free to seek nobler aims than drudging for a bare livelihood.” I read that on a day where I’ve been feeling stressed about leaving my work, because some unexpected expenses have come up. Kat has reassured me we’re fine and we can stay on course.

And on that same day, today, I was writing my newsletter on the topic of how to use magic to get through tough times and I read my advice, which among other things including letting go and trusting that the journey will take you where you need to go…and point made. I’ve been holding on, resisting the very change I want and I just need to let go, especially when its clear the means have been provided that I can do so.

Elemental Balancing Ritual Creativity Month 13

0-22-2019 I am creating a drawing of the archangel Khamael for this month’s work with Mars/Geburah and of course Khamael. I’m also watching one of my favorite movies, A Beautiful Mind, which is a biopic of sorts about John Nash, the eccentric mathematician. I like the movie because I can identify with the character, both in terms of his awkwardness with people and the unusual perspectives he used with his mathematic work. And I can appreciate his struggles, because of my own, though mine aren’t the same as his. I know what its like to be on the edge, to flirt with madness as you pursue genius, as you pursue the distinctive ideas that matter, going against the grain of conventional ideas to discover the potential that lies within the unconventional. I also know what its like to let my own arrogance delude me, and the subsequent fall that can happen with such delusions. At some point in the movie, his roommate tells him that his problem isn’t in the room he’s in, but in the world out there, that he has to discover the problem that other people have. It’s advice I resonate with. It’s what lead me to explore magic from a process perspective, because the problem I’ve found again and again is that magic isn’t approachable from an esoteric perspective. What point is there to practice magic if the work is harder than it has to be?

And I know the doubt all too well that one feels when what you’re trying to pursue doesn’t seem to work or come together. It’s taken me a long time to find what works, to discover the path forward. It’s involved failing and falling, and then climbing back up because I won’t give up on my ideas, on my work, and on the magic. It’s required discipline as well, finding the routines that work and sticking with them even when in the moment there has been despair. Now I am the phoenix rising from my own ashes, and from the hard earned and learned experiences that will always ground me by reminding me to stay humble, while pushing me to continue exploring the edge and embracing the unconventional.

,

Elemental Balancing Ritual Creativity Month 12

,

9-22-2019 I switched over to Tiphareth/Michael/the Sun yesterday. What’s interesting is that as I go up the ladder, the transitions are less overt, but nonetheless experienced. It demonstrates again that you shouldn’t get caught up in an expectation of what an experience will be. Let the experience happen and let it speak to and through you.

I’m reading Sacred Economies, which explores the relationship people have with money. The author makes some really interesting points about how money depersonalizes are relationships with the things we buy, because those things become replaceable. He also links this to scarcity, specifically how we can never have enough of money because of how we use it to replace things, instead of treasuring what we have. I see some of my own habitual thoughts about money in what he shares and its eye-opening, because I see how in turn that has stopped me from perhaps appreciating what I have as much as I could or being a good caretaker. If its replaceable, do I really value it? Something to consider, though on the flipside, I also recognize that in fact I am careful with my things precisely because I recognize the value of them in terms of not just monetary cost, but also how I utilize them in my life.

,

Elemental Balancing Ritual Creativity Month 11

,

8-24-2019 - I switched over to Venus/Netzach/Auriel the other day and its been interesting to note the energetic shift. I feel a bit more laid back and contemplative since shifting over, but I also still feel driven to write. In one sense, I am experiencing creativity in different phases and the Venus phase is distinct because it doesn’t feel as fast as Mercury, but it does feel a bit more grounded.

With the release of my first fiction book, I think its taken on the form of contemplating why I love what I’m doing, as well as what I’m willing to do to pursue that love. It seems appropriate to Auriel that I’m doing this because I’m starting my fiction writing career and it will take some work that I haven’t had to do in a long time as a non-fic writer.

,

Elemental Balancing Ritual Creativity Month 10

,

7-22-2019 Today I shifted over to Hod/Air/Mercury/Raphael and its and interesting shift…a sharp, clear shift that feels like a papercut, especially when paired with creativity. Actually I’m finding this entire meta process to be intriguing because I’m bundling these correspondences together with creativity and of course the creative insights I’m getting and the paths that are opening are very helpful.

Today, for example, it was getting further clarity on how to launch my first fiction book and what can be done to help that fiction book stand out, while also dong some further writing on my next fiction book. In any case I’m just letting myself get carried into the air and the associations with it.

,

Elemental Balancing Ritual Creativity Month 9

,

6-24-2018 I’ve started working with the Archangel Gabriel and the energy of Yesod/Moon for this month. Appropriately enough I think I’ve already set myself up for the work and not in a wonderful way. There are times I really I think all I’m good at doing is fucking up. This is one of those times. I made an impulsive decision (I’m good at those) instead of slowing down. I always learn after the fact, but when the damage is done, what good is the learning?

6-25-2018 Continued work with Gabriel today and I’m very much feeling the influence of the West and water, as well as a sense of tidal pulsing back and forth. Life comes and goes. The tides pull and push. Life continues.

,

Elemental Balancing Ritual Creativity Month 8

,

5-24-2019 Yesterday I started on the next phase of my work with the sphere of art. This is work I’m developing on my own, independent of what R.J. Stewart has already shared. This month I’m working with the archangel Sandalaphon and the planetary/underworld energy of the Earth. I’ve decided that this will help me build up the correspondences further as well as refine the sphere of art further, in terms of how it can be worked with.

5-26-2019 When I do my meditations with Sandalaphon, I’m using the elevated alchemical materials for Carbon, which represents Earth/underworld. I’m actually thinking of Malkuth as the gateway to the underworld, which might seem odd, until you consider that is where the seeds, minerals, etc are buried, where life begins and in one sense the underworld is as much a part of that process as anything else.

,

Elemental Balancing Ritual Creativity Month 7

,

4-23-2019 I’ve been starting to do some work with the sphere of art around going deeper into my creativity, and into exploring how I can use such a state to inspire my creativity. I’ve also been exploring what it’ll take to be successful as a writer, mapping out what my routine ought to look like as well as what to attend to business wise. The true success of any creative is the choice is to be a business owner as well as a creative.

4-27-2019 One of the decisions I’ve made around my writing is that once a year i’m going to re-read the books on book marketing and sales. Being a successful writer isn’t just writing, but learning all the skills around it and what I’ve noticed is that reading and implementing what’s in those books has helped me improve my book marketing skills. So this time around I’ve made a couple of changes and I’m glad I have, because I think it’ll make a significant difference in what I’m doing and how I’m reaching out to people.

,

Elemental Balancing Ritual Creativity Month 6

,

3-24-2019 I had a realization today about my passive aggressive behavior. When I am passive aggressive its because I’m in a situation where I don’t feel like I’m in control. The passive aggression is a way to try and get that control back or undermine it for the other person. When I trace this behavior to its origins, I find it goes back to my childhood because I wasn’t allowed to express my feelings of anger or anything else along those lines without getting punished.

Having this realization is helping me look at situations where I don’t feel like I have control and helping me see how that behavior is coming out. And its helping me realize I do have a choice. I can choose how I express my feelings. I can choose to be passive aggressive or I can choose to be direct, even in situations where I may not feel I have control.

,

Elemental Balancing Ritual Creativity Month 5

,

2-22-2019 I finished reading The Courage to be Disliked Today. I found it really insightful because it talked about work and about the intrinsic reward of contributing to your community, regardless of whether you are recognized or not. What the authors shared resonates with me deeply, because as I’ve continued to shift away from seeking recognition to doing the work, I’ve felt a deeper connection to my community and a deeper satisfaction about the work I am doing with that community. Doing the work and being in the moment is what matters. Anything else is a distraction. Realizing that has helped me shift my awareness around creativity, my work, and my sense of self-worth in a positive direction.

2-23-2019 Even if with all the work I’ve done around recognition and realizing that being recognized isn’t necessarily as good for me as I’d have thought at one time, there are still moments where it hits me hard that I’m in the background now. When I see a local event happen, with presenters, and no one’s asked me to present, it hits hard. I felt that way today and at one time it would’ve hit much harder, but for the moment I just feel a sense of loss because I realize I’m not being asked to present, and I likely won’t ever be again. Yet I am finding my way around that. I am connecting to my community, having dialogue with the people that need my work and contributing something. Have I really lost anything if I can continue to contribute and make a difference? I think the answer is I haven’t. Yes, may never present at conferences again because I chose to speak up about problems I saw, but I am still connecting with my community, still writing, still making videos, still doing something. That won’t ever stop. So I acknowledge this desire to be recognized and I let it go. I don’t have to be out there. I simply need to do my work and let it speak and find the people that need it.